Breast Cancer Reflections 5

a short while of chemotherapy

even though the cancer in me 

was gone after five years

I remember the fear of metastasis

of terminal suffering, and in this country:

why we not yet had the choice of Dignitas

back to chemo treatment in 2004

these drugs that stop cell division

the treatment of disease

through the use of chemicals

especially the treatment of cancer

through cytotoxic and other drugs

which damages or destroys certain cells

because the most dangerous thing

is that the cancer can spread

that is why the whole body must be treated

in systematic therapy, of which hormone 

or endocrine therapy, is a part of, and is necessary

for hormone-sensitive tumours

endocrine is derived from the terms: endo

which means within, and: crine, which means to secrete

secretory products of endocrine glands are hormones

and are carried directly in the blood throughout the body

where they affect only those cells 

that have receptor sites for that hormone

adjuvant, or additional therapy, means

the treatment with chemicals is given

after the cancer has been removed 

from the breast and armpit’s axillary lymph nodes

the drugs most often used in cases like mine 

are anthracyclines, known as the red devil:

a drug that makes you very nauseous

you can see the red liquid running 

through the vein in your arm 

and shortly after, you get the taste 

of metal in your mouth

then they give you big white peppermints

the other drug administered 

by an intravenous (IV) drip, is taxanes

.

and now, with so much information taken in

I can breathe more easily in my body's wounds

so thank you — poets of everywhere alive or dead

from Liefentjiefontein to Besitwater and Matjiesgoedkloof
thank you Stofputs of Droëgrond in the land of ǀXam

you increase my joy of life with wonderful writings

thank you, my old papa in your coffin: for your poems

that you left behind

for us

I promised you the day before yesterday

I will stop complaining now

just stop

wanting to die

🦋

© Annora Eksteen, 2025